What I've been having trouble with is my fellow practitioners. Too many people aren't taking this seriously enough. Too many people refuse to abandon their pleasant and false ideas of who they actually are, of what the world actually is. Too many won't acknowledge just how serious our situation on this planet has become. Too many refuse to humble themselves before the grueling and necessary process of (false) ego disassembly. Too many won't feel their deepest hurts. Too many cling to the illusion of control. Too many imagine that the mere act of drinking medicine and acting "spiritual" puts them in some special club that is automatically guaranteed salvation.
Too many refuse to trust in God.
All of this has to go. It has to go. That means it's going, whether we like it or not. Easy or hard - that's our only choice.
People think they're making the easy choice, with all the denial and the sweeping under the rug. They're not. They're deferring payment, and adding interest. The bill is coming due. Very, very soon.
You can feel it. I can feel it. We can all feel it. It's all out in the open now, the darkness and the filth that has festered at all levels of our species, from the individual to the institutional.
At the individual level it's clear to me that way too many people, whether medicine drinkers or not, have no interest in doing real shadow work. In the general populace it's depressing but perhaps understandable. Do I really expect rigorous personal honesty from a generic American consumer drone? I do not. Their unconsciousness and anaesthesia is utterly predictable.
What's far less excusable to me is this same tendency in people who claim to be spiritual warriors. I grow tired of counting the number of people I've met in this plant medicine venture who absolutely refuse to truly know themselves, to examine all their ugly, uncomfortable secrets. I've encountered way too many whose conduct outside of ceremony is jarringly discordant with the high ideals we all claim inside. They lie. They cheat. They gossip in an ugly, harmful fashion. They have no sexual morality. They behave in other obviously selfish and harmful ways.
At the individual level it's clear to me that way too many people, whether medicine drinkers or not, have no interest in doing real shadow work. In the general populace it's depressing but perhaps understandable. Do I really expect rigorous personal honesty from a generic American consumer drone? I do not. Their unconsciousness and anaesthesia is utterly predictable.
What's far less excusable to me is this same tendency in people who claim to be spiritual warriors. I grow tired of counting the number of people I've met in this plant medicine venture who absolutely refuse to truly know themselves, to examine all their ugly, uncomfortable secrets. I've encountered way too many whose conduct outside of ceremony is jarringly discordant with the high ideals we all claim inside. They lie. They cheat. They gossip in an ugly, harmful fashion. They have no sexual morality. They behave in other obviously selfish and harmful ways.
Somehow these people consider deep, honest self-examination optional. It is not. Not if your goal is to receive anything remotely meaningful or effective from these plant teachers.
If it isn't then I'm quite sure I don't want to drink with you. This is not even just a question of spirituality or morality or aesthetics. It's a question of self-preservation. Ayahuasca opens a Pandora's box of shadow material in those who consume her. Combine that with deep moral, emotional, and spiritual disturbance and you could have a real problem on your hands.
A shaman friend of mine told a hair-raising story from one of the centers down in Peru: a guy drank and afterwards attacked another pasajero with a knife; the intended victim grabbed it and killed him instead. Can you imagine?
I myself visited a Daime community in Brazil where the leader and his son had been murdered by a young man who should never have been given the sacrament, but was. That mausoleum made quite an impression on me.
I don't want to get caught up in a similar scene. High personal integrity of all participants guarantees the integrity of the container, and minimizes the probability of mayhem. Sounds good to me.
At the institutional level, the macrocosm mirrors the microcosm. All of that personal immorality multiplies itself out in the society to justify and reinforce the tyranny we all live under. Of course Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself. Of course the implications of that are massive. Of course the official 9/11 story is a joke. Of course chem-trails are real (look up, for fuck's sake). Of course Covid-19 has been massively manipulated by a bought-and-paid-for media to further God only knows what kind of dystopian, tyrannical, globalist agenda. Of course there has been a massive, 70+ year-long coverup of the ET presence on this planet and all of the potentially liberating technologies and advances in consciousness associated with it. Of course corporate media is always lying to you about all of these things.
So draw the conclusions.
The notion that you can simultaneously: 1) achieve enlightenment through plant medicine; and 2) believe what is being fed to you by CNN, MSNBC, the New York Times, etc. is absurd. The list of things those propaganda organs have deceived us about is staggeringly long. To continue believing their lies is just crazy. I'm not claiming to have some line into absolute truth. But I am claiming to know absolutely where not to look in my quest for anything even remotely connected to truth, and it starts with corporate media.
We don't even need to get into questions of outright intelligence community bribery and manipulation of news media (though we certainly should). Simply examining the economic facts around how the "news" is produced should be enough, as Noam Chomsky illustrated almost 30 years ago with "Manufacturing Consent". Am I really going to look to the New York Times to tell me the truth about vaccines when pharmaceutical companies regularly take out full-page ads there? Come on. Grow up.
Facing these questions is tough; I get it. The only thing that could possibly be worse is what's in store for us if we don't. The plans are hidden in plain sight: the openly proclaimed eugenicist goal to reduce the human population to 500,000,000; Bill Gates' public endorsement of totalitarian bio-tyranny through nano-particle-laden vaccines and microchip implants; the blatantly obvious spraying of chem-trails over the whole globe; the increasingly obvious dark occult practices of our so-called "elite"; the shameful and undeniable systematic kidnapping, rape, and murder of untold thousands of children yearly in these occult ceremonies; the obvious mainstreaming of pedophilia that they hope will enable them to bring it all into the open.
I never wanted to know any of this stuff. Knowing it is traumatic and terrible. It is scary. It is deeply alienating, at least when so much of the world is so totally asleep. It is burdensome. It implies a call to action that seems terrifying to follow.
I wanted to hold onto the indoctrination I'd received as a child: that our world essentially resembles a Richard Scarry book, with the baker and the plumber and the delivery driver and the grocer and the teacher and everybody else going about their business honestly and decently (and comfortingly rendered as cute anthropomorphic cartoon animals). Bad people around the edges, sure, but that's what the police (did Scarry actually represent them as pigs?) are for: to bring these rogues to justice and keep the rest of us safe. All in all, a world that is what it seems.
Alas, this appears not to be the case. There is no point in me attempting to dictate to you all of the specifics of some pre-approved worldview; you have to do your own research. Proceed with caution: there are plenty of charlatans, egomaniacs, lunatics, and counterintelligence agents out there. Trust your gut. If somebody feels like a liar or a self-promoter or a wacko, move on. If they resonate with your heart and experience, check them out. Meditate on their information and ponder what it means for you.
I can give you a small list of people I've found illuminating; you can see if they help you:
- Neil Kramer
- Dr. Steven Greer
- Tiffany Fitzhenry (mostly when she's talking about Hollywood)
- Mark Passio
- Tony Rodrigues (SSP)
- Jay Parker (SRA)
- Dave McGowan
There was a point in my own journey, just a few months before I flew down to Peru and drank for the first time, when I made the following prayer in my desperation and desire for a way out of the dreadful hole I was in:
"Please, God, show me the whole truth."
Careful what you ask for. There have been times since then when I've longed for the unconsciousness I suffered from/enjoyed in my 20s. At the level of both personal and global awareness, I have longed for it. There's no getting it back.
I invite you to join me in my discomfort. It is the first step towards real freedom. For all of us.
God bless you, whoever you are.
